Welcome to Elevate with Elsner. Join us for inspiring conversations with individuals who have transformed their lives and are making a difference through the work that they do. And now here's your host, Blake Elsner.

Welcome back to another episode of Elevate with Elsner. Today, I want to talk about something deeply personal. I don't have a guest. Cassidy is not leading point. It's just me. Something we all face at some point in our lives, and that's loss. It's something we all face. It's something that we all have in common. When we think about grief, we often think about losing that someone to death, right? Not necessarily losing someone that's still technically alive. We think about that empty seat at the dinner table, the text you can no longer send, the memories you hold on to like fragile glass. But loss isn't always physical, is it? Sometimes we grieve people who are simply very much still alive, very much still present in our everyday beings. They could be friends who've drifted away, family members who no longer speak to you, relationships that ended before you thought they were supposed to. The thing about grief, it's not easy. It doesn't have rules. It doesn't care if someone passed away. or simply just left your life. It feels the same in many, many ways. That ache, that longing, that question of why, why me, why now? And today, I want to explore this complicated thing called grief. the kind we feel for for those who've passed, and the kind we feel for for those still alive. I want to share some personal reflections. I want to talk about why this kind of pain can feel so overwhelming, can feel isolating, and most importantly, I want to talk about how we can find our way forward and out of that lane. So if you've ever felt the weight of loss, if you're, if you're just feeling like you don't have a support system, this episode's for you, I promise. Let's start with the obvious. Losing someone to death, it's final, it's heartbreaking, and it leaves that void inside you that nothing else can possibly fill. The hardest part about death is that it actually forces us to accept something that we can't change. There's no going back, no chance to say one more thing, No opportunity to fix what was broken. And then there's grief we feel for those that are still alive and still with us. Some say it's the hardest grief of them all. It's more complicated, isn't it? Because in those cases, the door isn't completely shut. It just may be stuck. Maybe it's a friendship that ended because life got in the way. Or a family member you no longer speak to because of different opinions on life. Maybe you don't speak to somebody because of hurtful words that were never resolved. Or maybe it's just a version of someone who's changed so much that they feel like a stranger to you now. This kind of loss can feel absolutely agonizing. And sometimes it is harder to process because there's always that tiny little spark of hope that things could go back to the way they were. But often they don't. Because a lot of times you're growing, you're blossoming. and holding onto that hope can keep us back, keep us stuck in the pain. So why does a loss hit so hard? Well, I think we can all agree that when you love something, you wanna be around it, you wanna nourish it, and that's why. So any kind of loss, it cuts so deep I think it's because we attach pieces of ourselves to the people we care about. When they leave, whether through death, distance, it feels like part of us departs. Part of us is leaving with them. Grief isn't just about missing someone. It's about adjusting to a brand new version of life. A version where they're not there. And that adjustment, it's exhausting. It's emotional. And sometimes it feels like absolutely impossible. But here's the thing. Grief also has a way of teaching us. It shows us how deeply we loved. It reminds us of the connections we've built, the memories we've shared, and the impact we've had on people and on our lives. As painful as it is, grief is also proof that we've lived, that we've cared, and that we've been lucky enough to have people worth missing. to have people worth missing. So how do you cope with loss? Coping with loss can be done in numerous ways. Everybody has their own way of coping. Some laugh, some cry. So how do we pick up the pieces after losing someone? You know, whether they're actually gone forever or just gone from our lives. Somehow we have to pick up those pieces for ourselves. So first, let yourself feel it. Grieve, grieve, grieve demands to be felt. Trying to suppress it only makes it worse. I can tell you from firsthand, cry if you need to. Let it out. Journal, talk to someone you trust. Grief is heavy. But it's lighter when you share it, I can promise you that. And second, honor what you've lost. For those who've passed, keep their memory alive. Share their stories. Visit their favorite places. Or carry something that they just truly loved. Maybe it was a golf ball, a golf tee. Honor the role they played in your life. Even if things ended badly, there was a reason they mattered to you at some point in your life, even if they don't matter completely right now. But just acknowledge that. And third, focus on what you can control. You can't bring someone back and you can't force a broken relationship to heal. but you can take small steps to move forward. Find new routines, create new memories, surround yourself with people who actually uplift you, who want you shoulder to shoulder, moving at the same speed as them. And finally, and this is a hard one, Practice forgiveness. Forgive yourself for what you didn't say or do. Forgive them for leaving, whether by choice or by circumstance. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting the action. The action will always remain. And it doesn't mean everything is OK. It means letting go of the weight that's holding you back. So as I bring this to a close, I'd never had this episode planned, putting this out there in honor of Cassidy's grandmother who passed away today. It's actually December 9th, and this episode will be out December 11th, 12-11. Loss is one of the hardest things we'll ever face, but it's also one of the most universal. We all lose people through death, through distance, through change. And while grief is a part of that, it's not the entire story. Because even in the pain, there's love, there's gratitude, and there's time and memories we had with those people. There's growth that comes. from learning to live without them. And most importantly, there's hope. Hope that the connections we build moving forward will be just as deep and meaningful as the ones that passed us by. So if you're grieving right now, whether it's someone who's alive, whether it's someone who's passed away, or someone who's just no longer part of your life. I want you to know that it's okay to feel it. It's okay to cry. It's okay to miss them. But please don't forget to honor yourself in the process because you're worth it. You're still here. You're still moving. and you're still moving forward. And that, in itself, is a testament to your strength. So as I wrap this last bit up, I want you to go out there and give thanks for the smallest things, like turning on your water, washing your toilet, things that you just never would think about. So if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Reach out, share your story, or just let me know how you're doing, because we all have to take care of ourselves, and I will gladly help take care of you. One love.

Blake Elsner

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